So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
