if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
