She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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