im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
