I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
