This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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