And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
