I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
