God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
