Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
