if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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