Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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