I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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