never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
