I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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