Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
