Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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