Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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