If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
