apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
