How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
wow bdsm is so cute
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
