he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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