Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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