I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
