I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
