who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
