does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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