I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
