It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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