You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
