I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
