Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
