I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
