yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
