i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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