New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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