I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
