who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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