Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
