Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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