what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
