Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
