apparently the secret to your success is patron
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
