I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
