Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I died a long time ago.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
