I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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