Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
