we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
