We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
