i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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